Growth

Day 20

#DailyWritingChallenge

Throughout my life, I have been significantly influenced and inspired by my family, friends and colleagues. As a teacher, I have been very blessed to have so many people who have invested in my growth and helped me to do better and to be better.

When I qualified as an English teacher, I was young and straight out of university. I was excited at the prospect of achieving my lifelong dream. I would have my own classroom, teach the way I wanted and I could finally use all that stationary I had bought from Paperchase. Of course, I soon learned that my Utopian classroom did not exist. With the help of others, I realised that teaching was as much about one’s own learning as it was about students’.

During my PGCE year, I loved discussing theorists and planning lessons and delivering them with the support of experienced teachers. I thought that when I had my own classes, it would be the same, if not better. I was wrong, of course. Within the first two weeks of my NQT year, I was sobbing with one of the Deputy Headteachers, whose office was opposite my classroom. This thing that I had dreamt about for so long, to be a great teacher, inspiring students to love English wasn’t working out as I had wanted or planned. And so, when he asked me what had happened, I felt too ashamed to tell him. I didn’t seek the help for fear of being seen as a failure. You see, throughout my life, I have worked hard to try to achieve academic success and so now, as I entered the world of teaching, it broke me to think that my academic knowledge could no longer help me.

I was wrong again, of course. When I told my mentor about my feelings, she supported me by listening without judgement, sharing her words of wisdom and also gave me something to read to help me understand the strategies further. I started to act upon my mentor’s advice and apply the strategies I was reading about in the book she had recommended. It is then that I started to see improvements in my own practice and in the students’ behaviour and engagement. I realised at this point in my career that even if I did not have the skills and experience yet, I could develop my understanding by reading about others who did. Reading has helped me to grow as a person, a classroom practitioner and as a leader. It has not only helped me to keep up-to-date with current issues and ideas but has also helped to shape my values and thinking. The more I read around a topic, the more I realise I don’t know enough. I know this might not sound like a profound realisation for an English teacher but it was exactly the advice I needed from someone who was invested in my growth as a teacher.

And so, it is important to understand that though knowledge may be power, what is just as powerful, if not more impactful, is surrounding one’s self with people who want only the best for you in a personal and a professional capacity. Without the candid advice of my mentors, colleagues and my coach, I would not have had the courage to even write this post.

At every point in my career, I have had many people who have supported me by throwing the ladder down and holding out their hand so that I could climb. Seeing the success of others, like me, has encouraged me to climb the ladder, one step at a time at my own pace. Seeking advice from those inspiring colleagues, both inside and outside of my own institution, like WomenEd and my coach Bukky, has enabled me to mute the internal inner voice that tells me I’m not worthy and I’m not good enough. We are all worthy and good enough because we chose a profession that is centred around caring for others and helping young people and teachers grow.

Without all of those people and my beloved books, I would not be the person I am or the teacher I am.

And so I repeat, I am so blessed to have so many people who have invested in my growth so that I feel worthy enough to invest in myself and do the same for others too.